If you catch a man…throw him back.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."