Joke #8622

Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?" The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
Vote: has 86.65 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, business, car, money
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn’t send that one, either." Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?" Abe answers, "They’ll find us!"
Vote: has 83.60 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, travel, holiday, anniversary, money
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Vote: has 82.40 % from 2047 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money, duck
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.” “That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change.”
Vote: has 80.62 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, doctor, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Vote: has 79.61 % from 917 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money, car, insulting
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Vote: has 78.51 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, money, insulting, animal
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
Vote: has 73.79 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, age, dating, dating, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Vote: has 73.58 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money
A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again. The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- dollar machine wasn't making him any money. He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician.  Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible. The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw. The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong. The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company.  The technician answered, "$100,000.00". The manager looked at him and said, "You were here less than two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemised bill."  The technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper:  -Turning of one screw: $1.00.  -Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00.
Vote: has 72.95 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, money, work, life