They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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