Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Yo momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk, white and chunky.
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
Yo momma so poor... The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Yo momma’s so ugly, yo daddy takes her to work just so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.