Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.