Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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