Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.