Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
Devil stays in hell because he knows Chuck is around, here on earth.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.