Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.