Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: "Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…" "What did you see?" "I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…" "Wow horror!" "Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!