The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.