An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!