Joke #8917

1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life

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There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
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has 81.95 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, life, men, women
The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
At a all-you-can-eat restaurant Josh came back to the table, his plate full for the fifth time. “Josh!” exclaimed his mother. “Doesn’t it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?” “Not a bit,” said Josh, “I just tell them I’m filling up the plate for you!”
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has 82.93 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
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has 15.26 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life, stupid
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do.
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, husband, life, music, priest
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
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has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?" "No" "So, it was you!"
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, teen