There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
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Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
How is a man like a microwave oven?
Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
After an accident...
1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...