The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.