Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!
Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.