One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail. The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail. The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail. So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
What has a head, a tail, and no body? A coin!
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock? Oh wait... Twilight
An elderly man 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life to tell. 1. His Doctor 2. His Priest 3. His Lawyer "Well today I found out I don’t have long to live. So I asked you three here, because your the most important people in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave." Well a few days later the man passed on, The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me lots of medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in." The Priest said, "I have to admit also I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. And I threw the rest in." Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing, "I am surprised at you two. I wrote a check for the whole amount and threw it in."
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!