Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...