A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.