A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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