An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. "Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week." "Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman. "No," said the American. "Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206″: Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 but I didn’t stop."
What do a tornado and a black person have in common? It only takes one to ruin a good neighborhood.
What do you call ten million black people jumping out of a plane? Night time.
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Have you heard of the new black Barbie doll? It comes with 6 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check!
Why can't Chinese couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white!
What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan.
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
So this guy walks in to a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks dude where did you get that. And the parrot answers in Africa theres millions of them.
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them? To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.