The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.