Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.