Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.