Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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