Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.