Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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Chuck did enter the Dragon.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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