Joke #9188

Four nuns were attending a baseball game. Four men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I’m going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there." Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Missouri, there are only 75 nuns living there." The third guy said, "I want to go to Texas, there are only 50 nuns living there." The fourth guy said, "I want to go to Maine. There are only 25 nuns living there." The mother superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don’t you go to hell, there aren’t any nuns there!"

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he missed again. "Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.

Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up." He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”

Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.

Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.

Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"