Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!