Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.