Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
Do you know Chuck Norris? Yes? Then he shall allow you to live... for now.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.