Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed. Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.