Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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