Joke #9260

Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
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What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
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MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
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I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
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Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
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One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Murphy’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Murphy was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Murphy why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents. "Was that all you wanted?" Murphy replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I’ve got in me shoe!"
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Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?" The man yells back, "About a half mile from town." Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer." The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?" The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
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What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
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Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears? Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
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