Joke #9265

Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: bar, beauty, lawyer
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, money, wife
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?" The man yells back, "About a half mile from town." Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer." The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?" The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
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has 72.01 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, travel