Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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