Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.