The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.