Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch...
He saw it 3 times a day.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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