Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes?
It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves.
In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
I sent my young son to pick up ice cream, I handed him some money and a coupon.
Later he came home with the ice cream and the coupon.
When I asked him what happened, he replied, “Mom I had enough money.
I didn’t need the coupon.”
What is the best type of ship?
FRIENDSHIP!
Vote:
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her.
He called his mother to share his good news with her.
He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee.
When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one.
He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
Vote:
Ignorance can be educated.
Crazy can be medicated.
But there is no cure for stupidity...
What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.