Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives. The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door." The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones." The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.