Joke #9481

Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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has 50.16 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, stupid

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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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has 84.29 % from 1857 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
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has 84.26 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, stupid, weather
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives. The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door." The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones." The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
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has 83.64 % from 418 votes. More jokes about: bar, car, marriage, stupid, wife
You're a redneck if: -You have more fingers than you do teeth -You cut your grass and find a car -You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant -Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors -Your age is higher than your I.Q. -Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?" -You ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "It's a gummy bear." -You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up. -You say "Watch this" every time before you goto the hospital. -Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
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has 81.38 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: car, family, hospital, redneck, stupid
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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has 80.10 % from 441 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
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has 79.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
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has 79.05 % from 1493 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
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has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, time, travel
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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has 76.15 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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has 74.62 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris