When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.