If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.