Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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