Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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