What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. "But I paid, don't you remember?" said the customer. "Okay," said the bartender. "If you say you paid, you did. The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn't keep track of his customers' bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay he pulled the same stunt. The barkeep replied, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it." Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks. The man hurried into the bar and began to drink high balls when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose." "Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responded. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.