What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country.
O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer.
They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside.
He is gone for a long time.
When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses."
"Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks.
The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants.
The man says “Oh just a beer”.
The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”.
The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would’nt talk to me for a month”.
The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”?
The man siad “Well the month is up tonight”.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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A white man walks into a bar and says to a bartender "Hey nigger. Gimme a beer".
The bartender says "Don't say that to me. What happened if I said something like that to you?".
"The white man says "I don't know lets find out".
They switch places.
The black comes in and said "Hey honkey, gimme a f*ckin' beer".
The white man says "Sorry. We don't serve niggers"