According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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