If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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