Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.