When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.