Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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