Joke #9721

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, women, husband, phone, beer
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, age, old people
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, old people
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
Vote: has 88.64 % from 3090 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, age, doctor, wife
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, age, old people, game
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, age
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, technology, life
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, old people
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?” The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed. ”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.” The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head. ”How did it go?” the doctor asked. ”Terrible, doctor, terrible.” ”Did it not work?” ”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.” ”Then what is the problem, ma’am?” ”Well,” she said. ”I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.
Vote: has 87.73 % from 1842 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, age, doctor, old people, husband
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?" "Alzheimer, granny!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people