Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Yo Mama so old... When she was at school...there was No history class!
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."